Why Summer Routines Help Kids Thrive — And How to Create One That Works

After a school year packed with early mornings, lunch-packing, homework, and endless activities, the idea of “no more routines” can sound like a dream. Many parents look forward to summer as a chance to relax, slow down, and escape the hustle.

But what often starts as a breath of fresh air can quickly turn into chaos — because kids still need structure to feel safe, calm, and cooperative.

Why Kids Do Better with Routines

While the break from rigid school schedules is welcome, too much unpredictability can leave children feeling ungrounded. Routines create a sense of rhythm and flow to the day, which helps kids know what to expect.

This predictability is more than just practical — it’s biological. A consistent routine supports a child’s nervous system by reducing stress and anxiety. When kids know what’s coming next, their brains and bodies can relax. Without this structure, kids often seek control in other (sometimes unhelpful) ways — like saying “no” to everything or pushing back against simple requests.

A Real-Life Example: Behavior as a Cry for Structure

I recently worked with a set of parents whose 7-year-old son had become especially defiant. He resisted even basic instructions, constantly challenged his mom, and insisted on controlling everything.

Once we explored their summer lifestyle, it became clear that the sudden lack of structure was playing a major role. His oppositional behavior, while frustrating, was actually an attempt to create some form of predictability in his day. Even though his behavior led to negative consequences, those consequences were at least predictable — giving him a misplaced sense of control.

Once we introduced a simple summer routine, his behavior began to shift dramatically.

Building a Simple Summer Routine (That Doesn’t Feel Like School)

A summer routine doesn’t have to be rigid or exhausting. It can be flexible, fun, and tailored to your family’s needs. The goal isn’t to schedule every minute — it’s to offer enough predictability to help your child feel secure while still enjoying the freedom of summer.

Here are some easy blocks of time you can incorporate:

• Outdoor play: Time at the park, pool, or just in the backyard
  
  
• Creative time: Crafts, painting, LEGO, or building forts
  
  
• Friend time: Scheduled playdates or neighborhood meetups
  
  
• Quiet time: Independent play, reading, puzzles, or rest (great for parents too!)
  
  
• Tech time: A show or video game — with clear boundaries
  
  
• Family connection: Meals, evening walks, or shared activities
  
  
• Responsibility time: Helping with simple chores or clean-up
  
  

Involve Your Kids in the Planning

Want to really make the routine stick? Let your child help create it. Sit down together at the beginning of the week to map out a rough plan. Give them options within the day (e.g., “Would you rather go to the park in the morning or after lunch?”).

This not only builds buy-in but also fills your child’s need for autonomy in a healthy way, giving them a sense of control without the power struggles.

Final Thoughts: A Little Structure Goes a Long Way

Summer doesn’t have to mean abandoning all routine — and it shouldn’t. A flexible, kid-friendly summer routine offers the best of both worlds: freedom and structure. It helps children feel grounded, makes parenting easier, and supports better behavior through calmer, more connected days.

So if you’re already feeling the effects of too much free time, consider adding just a little structure to your family’s summer. Your kids — and your sanity — will thank you.

To help you plan a great summer with your kids, I’ve developed a Summer Planning Kit for Families!  Use it to create a balanced and calm summer full of fun and connection.  Click here to grab your copy today!