Want a Better Summer? Plan One That Actually Works for Your Family

As parents, many of us head into summer with big hopes.

We imagine:

• more family time
• slower mornings
• fun adventures
• less stress
• happy memories
• kids playing outside for hours

But somewhere between the camps, sports schedules, screen battles, sibling fighting, vacations, work schedules, and endless snack requests… summer can also start to feel surprisingly chaotic and exhausting.

That’s why I encourage parents to spend a little time planning ahead before summer fully begins.

Not to create a perfect summer.
Not to overschedule every moment.
But to create more intention around how you want summer to feel.

Because when we don’t plan ahead at all, summer can quickly become reactive instead of intentional.

Start With the Big Picture

Before filling up the calendar, I encourage parents to pause and ask themselves:

What do I actually want summer to feel like for our family?

More connected?
More relaxed?
More active?
Less stressful?
More outdoors?
Less screen time?
More family memories?
More independence for the kids?

Sometimes we get so busy planning logistics that we lose sight of the bigger picture entirely.

The goal is not creating a Pinterest-perfect summer.

The goal is creating a summer rhythm that supports your family’s emotional well-being.

Kids Need Both Structure AND Downtime

One mistake families sometimes make is swinging too far in one direction.

Either:

• kids are overscheduled every minute
  or
• there is absolutely no structure at all

Most kids actually do best somewhere in the middle.

Kids generally benefit from:

• some structure
• predictable routines
• opportunities for boredom
• downtime
• free play
• outdoor time
• rest
• flexibility

Overscheduling can leave kids emotionally exhausted and dysregulated.

But too little structure can also create:

• excessive screen time
• sibling conflict
• emotional dysregulation
• constant boredom complaints
• power struggles

The goal is balance.

Don’t Try to Make Every Day “Special”

I think many parents put enormous pressure on themselves during summer.

We feel like we should constantly:

• create magical experiences
• keep kids entertained
• make memories every day
• prevent boredom
• maximize every moment

That’s exhausting.

And honestly, many of the moments kids remember most are often surprisingly simple:

• popsicles outside
• sprinkler days
• movie nights
• bike rides
• staying up a little later
• catching fireflies
• playing cards together
• walks after dinner

Connection matters more than constant entertainment.

Build in Predictable Anchors

Even during relaxed summers, kids tend to do better when there are some predictable anchors throughout the day.

That might include:

• consistent wake-up times
• outdoor time in the morning
• quiet time after lunch
• designated screen time
• family dinners
• bedtime routines

These predictable rhythms help kids feel more emotionally regulated and secure.

And this is especially important for:

• strong-willed kids
• anxious kids
• highly sensitive kids
• kids with ADHD tendencies
• kids with big feelings

These children often struggle more when life feels unpredictable or chaotic.

Plan Ahead for Screens

One of the biggest reasons summer starts feeling difficult for many families is because screens slowly become the default activity all day long.

And honestly, that often happens gradually without parents even realizing it.

That’s why it helps to think ahead before summer starts:

• What are your screen expectations?
• What boundaries feel important?
• What time of day works best?
• What are screens replacing?
• What alternatives will be available?

You do not need to eliminate screens completely.

But having a plan ahead of time usually works much better than trying to create rules in the middle of daily battles.

Leave Space for Boredom and Creativity

One of the healthiest things we can give kids during summer is space.

Space to:

• imagine
• create
• rest
• get bored
• problem solve
• figure things out independently

Not every moment needs to be productive or scheduled.

Some boredom is actually incredibly healthy for kids.

Very often, creativity comes after the initial discomfort of boredom.

Include Your Kids in the Planning

One thing that can help tremendously is involving kids in some summer planning conversations.

Ask questions like:

• What are you excited about this summer?
• What do you want more of?
• What activities matter most to you?
• What are some things you want to learn or try?
• What kinds of family activities feel fun?

Kids are often more cooperative when they feel included and heard.

That doesn’t mean they make all the decisions.
But collaboration can reduce a lot of resistance and power struggles.

Start Small

You do not need to overhaul your entire summer overnight.

Even a few intentional shifts can make a huge difference.

Maybe:

• you create a simple daily rhythm
• plan one family activity each week
• limit screens during certain times
• prioritize outdoor time
• protect sleep routines a bit more
• build in more downtime

Small, realistic changes are often much more sustainable than trying to create the “perfect” summer.

Give Yourself Grace

Summer is long.

Some days will feel wonderful and connected.
Other days will feel messy, loud, chaotic, and exhausting.

That’s normal.

The goal is not creating a perfect summer for your kids.

The goal is creating enough connection, structure, flexibility, rest, and fun to help your family feel more regulated and connected overall.

And remember… kids don’t need perfectly curated summers.
What they need most is connection, emotional safety, and opportunities to simply be kids.

If you’d like help creating a more intentional summer for your family, I created a free Summer Planning Kit to help parents think through routines, screen time, activities, expectations, and ways to create a summer that feels calmer and more connected.

You can download the free Summer Planning Kit here:

Summer Planning Kit

If you’d like more support around strong-willed behavior, emotional regulation, screens, and parenting tools, you can also join my Confident Parenting Email Community here: [insert link]

You don’t have to figure this all out perfectly. Most of us are learning as we go.