How to Handle Sibling Fights

Now that summer is in full swing, many parents are feeling the effects of relaxed routines and long, unstructured days. If you have more than one child, you may also be dealing with an increase in sibling squabbles that come with all that together time.

With fewer scheduled activities and more hours at home, kids are spending lots of time together — and that often means more opportunities for conflict. Whether it’s name-calling, shouting, hitting, or the classic “he’s looking at me” complaints, sibling tension is a normal (if frustrating) part of family life.

So what can you do to manage sibling disagreements and keep your sanity for the rest of the summer?

1. Expect Some Fighting — and Plan for It

If you go into summer hoping your kids will get along all day every day, you’re likely setting yourself up for frustration. Studies show siblings can argue as many as eight times an hour! That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong — it just means your expectations might need adjusting. When you anticipate some level of conflict, you’ll be better prepared to stay calm and respond with patience when it happens.

2. Use Conflict as a Teaching Moment

Instead of viewing every fight as a disaster, try seeing it as a chance for growth. Sibling disagreements can help your kids develop essential life skills — from problem-solving and communication to empathy and self-advocacy.

The next time your children argue, take a deep breath and coach them through it instead of solving it for them. Unless they’re in danger of hurting each other, and then you would want to step in immediately and separate them.

If there is no danger, start by narrating the problem.  

Here’s an example of what that might look like:
It looks like we have a situation with two kids wanting to watch two different TV shows.  I wonder how we can come up with a solution that works for both kids.  Do you have any ideas? 

These conversations build problem solving skills, emotional intelligence, and they encourage collaboration.

3. Create Clear Family Guidelines

Establishing simple, consistent family rules helps set the tone for respectful behavior. Involving your kids in creating these rules can make them feel more invested in following them.

Consider adding rules like:

• In this family, we use our hands for helping or hugging, not hurting.
  
  
• In this family, we speak kindly to one another and we’re not mean.
  
  
• In this family, we respect each other, even when we’re upset.
  
  
• In this family, we solve problems with words, not yelling.
  
  

Having a shared understanding of these boundaries makes it easier for everyone to know what’s expected — and for parents to reinforce it consistently.

4. Make Time for Fun and Connection

According to child development expert Dr. Daniel Siegel, the most reliable predictor of strong sibling relationships in adulthood is the amount of fun siblings had together growing up — not how little they fought.

So don’t worry too much if your kids argue often. Instead, focus on building in moments of joy and shared laughter. Try activities like backyard picnics, silly art projects, spontaneous dance parties, or cooling off with a surprise water balloon battle. Even simple rituals like making popsicles together or going on evening walks can strengthen their bond.

Final Thoughts

Sibling conflict is normal — especially when kids are spending more time together. With the right mindset and a few strategies in place, you can help your children develop valuable relationship skills while also creating meaningful summer memories.

Choose connection over correction, and don’t forget to have fun along the way.

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