Help Kids with Big Feelings Prepare for Back-to-School

For many parents, the countdown to the first day of school brings a mix of emotions: relief, excitement, and maybe a little anxiety about how your child will transition. But if you have a child who struggles with big emotions, especially when it comes to new or unfamiliar situations, you may already be noticing the signs: shorter tempers, clinginess, or sudden resistance to things they usually enjoy.

It’s easy to think of back-to-school as a welcome change after the chaos of summer, but for kids who don’t handle change well, it can feel overwhelming. The shift in routine, the new environment, unfamiliar teachers or classmates, all of it can stir up anxiety, even weeks before school starts.

That’s why it’s so important to start preparing now.

Why Transitions Are So Hard for Kids with Big Feelings

Children who are emotionally sensitive often rely on predictability and routine to feel safe and regulated. When a big change like school is looming, their sense of security is disrupted. Even if they don’t say it out loud, many kids are silently wondering:

• What if my new teacher is mean?
  
• What if no one sits with me at lunch?
  
• What if I don’t know where to go?
  

When these fears bubble under the surface, they can show up as irritability, avoidance, defiance, or even full-blown meltdowns.

The good news? You can reduce their anxiety and help them feel more confident by gently easing them into the idea of returning to school.

How to Help Your Child Prepare

1. Start Talking About It Early

Bring up school in low-pressure, casual ways. Ask what they remember about last year or what they’re curious (or worried) about this year. Avoid brushing off their concerns.  Instead, validate their feelings and help them problem-solve.

2. Create Predictability

Begin shifting routines to more closely match the school year: earlier bedtimes, consistent wake-ups, regular mealtimes. The more their body and brain get used to the new rhythm, the smoother the transition will feel.

3. Do a Walk-Through (If You Can)

If your child is going to a new school, or even a new wing or classroom, see if you can visit the building ahead of time. Walk the hallways, find their classroom, locate the bathrooms. Familiarity reduces anxiety.

4. Practice New Situations

Role-play situations they might encounter: meeting a new teacher, asking to go to the bathroom, navigating lunch lines. Practicing helps their brain build a sense of safety and readiness.

5. Create a Comfort Plan

Work together to come up with simple coping tools they can use if they start to feel overwhelmed at school. Deep breaths, going to a calm corner, or even having a small comfort object in their backpack can make a big difference.

6. Focus on Strengths and Wins

Remind them of other times they’ve faced something new—and handled it! Help them tap into their own resilience with phrases like, “You were nervous about soccer tryouts too, and look how brave you were.”

Final Thoughts

The start of a new school year can be a big emotional lift for kids who struggle with change, but you don’t have to wait until the first day to help them get ready. With some simple strategies and a little extra intention, you can reduce their anxiety, build their confidence, and set them up for a smoother start.

You’re not just preparing them for school, you’re equipping them for life.

Does thinking about back-to-school season feel like a sudden jolt after a carefree summer?  You’re not alone, and you don’t have to go into it unprepared!  If your kids are sleeping in, snacking all day, or resisting structure, now is the perfect time to ease back into routines (without drama or power struggles) and my Back to School with Less Stress and More Connection email series can help!  It’s packed with easy, practical, and supportive tips to help your family start the school year with more calm and confidence.  Click here to sign up.