Making homework less stressful for the entire family

Homework isn’t just hard on kids, it can be stressful for the whole family. One child is dragging their feet at the table, another needs help with spelling, and meanwhile dinner is burning, backpacks are still unpacked, and everyone is exhausted from the day.

If homework feels like it hijacks your evenings and leaves everyone frustrated, you’re not alone. The good news is that with some planning and small shifts, you can make homework time calmer and less stressful for everyone.

1. Create a Routine That Works for Your Family

Some kids do best when they dive into homework right after school.  My own kids were like this.  Having homework looming over them was stressful for them, so we had to adjust things to allow for them to get their homework done before doing anything else or they would lose it.

Other kids need downtime first.  Think about your child’s energy levels and your family’s schedule, then set a consistent routine. When kids know what to expect, there’s less pushback and less arguing.

2. Establish a Homework Zone

Whether it’s the kitchen table, a desk, or a cozy corner, having a designated spot for homework helps kids shift into “work mode.” Keep basic supplies (pencils, paper, erasers, crayons) handy so you’re not scrambling or running around for materials when it’s time to get started.

When my kids were in grade school, I learned it was easier to keep a bin of art supplies along with poster boards in the house so we weren’t scrambling when they needed one for a project.

3. Limit Multitasking for Everyone

It’s tough for kids to focus when there’s chaos around them. If one child needs quiet, let siblings play in another room, or consider noise canceling headphones. If you’re cooking dinner, try to avoid peppering them with questions or bouncing between tasks. A calmer environment helps everyone feel less stressed.

You might also try different music styles and playlists as music can be a great tool to help kids focus.

4. Use Breaks and Movement Strategically

Long stretches of homework can feel overwhelming. Build in short breaks for stretching, grabbing water, or even a quick wiggle break. Movement helps regulate their body and reset their focus, which makes the next chunk of work easier.

You may have to get creative if you have a child like mine who just wants to get it done, and the suggestion of a break creates more stress and tension. If that’s the case, you might just drop off some water and a snack.

5. Spread Out Support

If you have multiple kids, it can be stressful when they all need your help at once. Try staggering homework times or setting up “independent starter tasks” for one child while you focus on another. You might also rotate which parent handles which child, so the load isn’t always on one person.

6. Shift the Emotional Climate

Remember that emotions are contagious and kids pick up on our stress. If you come into homework time frazzled, they pick up on it. Take a deep breath before you sit down, tell yourself something supportive like “I can handle this” at the same time you’re empathizing with your kids.

You want your child to feel supported, and although it may seem counterintuitive, you can do that by listening and validating what they’re feeling.

That can sound something like this:

Wow, that does sound like a lot of homework.

Homework stinks.

That assignment does sound tough.

Oh boy, I get it—The last thing you feel like doing when you get home from a long day at school is homework.

Just because you’re validating their feelings doesn’t mean they don’t have to do the homework.  You’re just conveying that you understand how they feel, which helps them feel like you’re on their team and support them.

Celebrate small wins with a simple High Five to keep morale up. Remember, your connection matters more than getting every answer right.

7. Know When Enough Is Enough

If homework turns into tears or drags into the night, it’s okay to stop and communicate with the teacher. Homework should reinforce learning, not damage family relationships. Protecting peace in your home is just as important as completing every assignment.

The Bigger Picture

Homework doesn’t have to take over your evenings or strain your family relationships. By creating a routine, setting up the right environment, and shifting how you approach the work, you can ease the stress for everyone,  including yourself.

The goal isn’t a perfect homework session. The goal is to help your kids develop focus, responsibility, and perseverance while keeping your family connection strong.

Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual, but it does get easier when you have support and strategies that work. Join my free Confident Parenting Email Community for weekly insights, tools, and encouragement to help you create more calm and connection at home.