You Don’t Have to Love Every Moment to Be a Good Mom (What Good Parenting Really Means)

Mother’s Day is supposed to feel warm and easy.
Full of gratitude, love, and appreciation.

But for a lot of moms… it’s more complicated than that.

Because behind the handmade cards and flowers… there are also moments of exhaustion, frustration, doubt, and overwhelm that don’t get talked about nearly enough.

And sometimes, there’s a quiet thought that feels almost impossible to say out loud:

“I’m not enjoying this.”

I was reminded of that recently in a coaching conversation with a mom.

With a lot of hesitation and guilt in her voice, she admitted something she had never said out loud before.

“I feel terrible even saying this… but I haven’t enjoyed being a parent for over a year.”

You could hear the shame in her voice. Like something must be wrong with her.

I immediately responded,
“Of course you don’t. You have a toddler.”

She just started laughing.

You could feel the weight lift from her.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer a parent is simply normalizing what they’re experiencing.

Because here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough:

We are not always going to enjoy parenting.

And that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child.
It doesn’t mean you’re not a good mom.

It means parenting is hard.

I remember being so confused when my son was born.

Everyone talks about how magical the newborn stage is supposed to be. The overwhelming love. The bliss.

But I mostly felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure of myself.

I thought something must be wrong with me because I wasn’t feeling what I thought I was supposed to feel.

My mom was a natural with babies. She loved the infant stage. Everything seemed to come easily to her… and I assumed I would be the same.

But I wasn’t.

And because I wasn’t like her, I felt embarrassed about how hard it was for me and didn’t want to talk to her about it.

So instead, I talked to my dad.

After listening to me for a while, he asked me one simple question:

“Would you give your life for your son?”

I immediately said yes.

He replied, “That’s all you need to know.”

A lot of moms think that being a “good mom” means enjoying every stage.

But that’s not true and near impossible.

Being a good mom doesn’t mean you love every moment.
It doesn’t mean you never feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted.

It means that even when it’s hard, even when you're unsure… your love and commitment are still there.

There will be moments when you love your kids with everything you are… and also moments when you don’t like them very much.

That’s normal.

Good moms aren’t the ones who enjoy every moment.

They’re the ones who stay committed to learning, growing, and showing up… even on the days when parenting feels really hard.

So this Mother’s Day…

If you’re in a season that feels hard…
If you’re more exhausted than joyful…
If you’re questioning yourself more than celebrating…

Nothing has gone wrong.

You’re in the middle of the work of parenting. And that counts.

This Week’s Reflection

If you had a parenting moment this week where you thought, “I’m failing at this” or “I should be handling this better…”

Pause and ask yourself:

What made this moment hard?
What would I say to a friend who was experiencing the exact same thing?

Most of the time, the compassion we offer others is the same compassion we need to give ourselves.

Parenting isn’t about getting it right all the time.

It’s about continuing to learn, grow, and show up for your kids… even on the hard days.

And if you’re doing that… You’re already doing better than you think.

Happy Mother’s Day. 💛 

If you’re looking for more support: I’m hosting a live workshop on May 13th in North Andover where I’ll walk through practical strategies to reduce daily struggles and feel more confident in your parenting. You can learn more and register here.